“weaving oneself’s cocoon until the lover’s return”

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“As her lover left for the sea

her soul ached more then she could take

the world seemed to wither and die

color seeped out of everything

time still moved on slowly, dragging

from her heart a cocoon she began to weave

a sort of death, a suspension from living

wrapping herself inside of their memories

to hide away from the feelings, the loneliness, the emptiness

and on the day of her lover’s return

she’ll rise out of her woven protective chrysalis

on wings of ecstasy and endless love”

 

The hardest part in a deployment seems to be the beginning when life just seems to shatter apart and all you do is cry. He is my soulmate and it is a horrible tearing feeling knowing it will be months before you can see and be with him again. Communication is hard and there are days or more between emails and sometimes weeks or months between phone calls. You can’t reach them by phone only email and letters.  All you want to do is sleep until the day they come home to you. To hide away in a dream until homecoming.

So i made this image to show how i wish i could wrap myself up in a cocoon and hibernate away until his homecoming. To suspend my thoughts, feelings and emotions until i can be with him again. When he leaves it is almost like a little death of myself and when he returns it is like a rebirth. Obviously this is a bit of an exaggeration (but not much) and i do live while he is gone, i can have happy moments but in a way they are almost stunted. You can roll your eyes but these are my honest feelings of going through a deployment. He is such an amazing incredible man there is soooooo much for me to miss. but that means there is sooo much for me to love and as hard as the wait is, it is worth every single second of crazy emotional waiting to be with him again.

With that i will leave you for now. i can’t dwell to much on it or the tears begin to flood again.

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